A terrorist cell takes three Americans hostage and threatens to expose a secret that will shatter America's soul.

There's a bomb and QTs Dad has to stop it and I think there's some money somewhere.

Watch in horror as crazed fundamentalists from the future lead by evil commander, Protar Abdul Omar, kidnap Mr. and Mrs. Claus and plot to send an imposter Santa to deliver toys contaminated with radioactive camel turds to unsuspecting earth children on Christmas Eve. The future of Christmas rests in the hands of the Modern Props team! Merry Christmas indeed!

Depressed, nodding-out Marcy turns up at titular rural joint, where she attracts the attention of butch waitress Regina, queeny proprietor Bobby, and wacky townie regulars. Marcy has driven from San Francisco to recover from the loss of her husband in a car accident near this very spot. In fact, they’d once planned to purchase the cafe themselves.